Many of you experience a lot of shame after going on a sissy binge. Part of the thrill while you’re doing it is in degrading yourself and not letting yourself care about that for a moment.
In essence, what is happening is that you’re narrowing your window of the world for a moment. You’re letting yourself be absorbed and forgetting everything else. This allows for inconsistencies between what you’re doing in the moment and what you want to be doing in your life as you zoom out again. It allows you to do degrading things you otherwise wouldn’t do. And afterward you feel shame, because you see how it doesn’t fit your values and what you’re actually wanting out of life from a broad perspective.
And shame tends to make people want to hide from what they’ve done, to themselves and to other people. So when you feel shame you tend to not allow yourself to think about the issue in a way that can actually address the problem. You tend to want to not think about it, and just hope it goes away by itself. But oftentimes that doesn’t work, because what’s causing the behavior is a certain set of triggers and impulses you have to those triggers, and you need to new plan, for when you are triggered. And in order to make a new plan you need to think about it.
Since you’re here reading this you are thinking about making a new plan. And that’s good. You’re most of the way there. Once you’re at this step of considering a new way of behaving in response to triggers, the only other thing you need is to make the plan specific, so it’s actionable and to emotionally pump yourself up until you’re actually feeling committed to your way of responding to your previous triggers that used to push you towards a binge.
There are different ways to pump yourself up. One way is to imagine the possible positive outcomes and to imagine the possible negative outcomes if you don’t follow your plan. Give yourself time to think it through now.
Don’t beat yourself up because of shame. When you’re very horny it’s natural for your disgust reactions to decrease. And to do things you regret later on because of that. Getting wise to the cycle and seeing what’s actually happening is what allows it to stop.
Can you imagine the most unattractive woman in the world telling guys to get on the edge of coming before she shows herself? To make them commit to worshiping her, before she shows herself? That’s all that’s happening here. You’re being emotionally manipulated into desiring something you wouldn’t have desired. And instead of being ashamed, you can just be tired of it. In that example part of you still likes the feeling of the illusion, because when you believed she should possibly be to your liking it felt good. And she’s going to whisper in your ear with her rotten egg breath that you can just pretend again, and wouldn’t it be great? And you can have a new response. No. Sorry. I know the reality and I want to enjoy my life.
You don’t need to beat yourself up to stop. It’s actually easier to stop if you have some self-forgiveness and self-understanding. Instead of beating yourself up, use your regret deactivate triggers with new plans of action. New ways to relax yourself when you’re stressed. That will actually help you get to where you’re wanting to be.
Don’t swear off masturbation right away either. That’s something you can do eventually if you want, once you’ve learned new patterns of behavior. But swearing off masturbation isn’t the greatest first option, because being horny increases your tolerance for disgust. The ugliest woman in the world starts to get more attractive if you haven’t cum for 2 weeks. It’s much easier to say no to her with a clarity of normal sexual habits. And it’s much easier to learn how to not ‘let go’ to the pretend and to keep your whole life in mind, which will begin to unravel all the conditioning.